The Day off…

I so deserved this day off. I so, I so, I so did.
Last evening I came home early from office just because I could not give my mind to the work assigned to me; not because I did not like it. Its computer, code and logic. What else do I need? But I was confused, frustrated and angry on the pace everything was going on with. I have repeatedly shouted many times this month that everything is going slow, but the burst of fury last evening in my head was the realization that in fact, I was the one with the slow pace.
“You need sleep!” “You should sleep a minimum of 6 hours.” “You should have fun too” “C’mon life is about enjoying.”
Well okay, F*** it! F*** it all.
These were the sounds I could hear last evening. Its not work at office. But my own plans, my own goals were not materializing in the pace I wanted them to. “I will join the company, then after 6 months I will get this, then after 12 I will complete this..” and all those plans I had in mind were still just starting, and its been 11 months already and I don’t see any of that going to happen soon.
Yester-night I gave myself a speech. I planned it all out.
Today when I got up, I knew I could not go to work. I knew I had to take this day off. I called my manager and told her I was not well, and technically that was in fact, true. I spent my entire day, doing nothing but watching movies, eating and waiting for tonight. Because, tonight I plan to change it all.
Its not life that is going slow, Its me.
I am not short of opportunities, I am surrounded by them. I just am too lazy to pick them up.
I don’t need to have tags of priorities set to all my goals and pick which when to pursue first. I just need to start.
I need to stop planning, stop thinking. I need to start.
I might come across hurdles, huge ones, some plans might even fail, some decisions will even make me feel stupid later on. But I should stop caring now. Its high time. I need to start.
I don’t give a damn if I miss an or hour or two sleep. I don’t give a damn if I have to skip some meals. But I will start. I will work, without compromising on friends, relatives, fun, party. I want it all, and I am pretty sure I am still not asking too much.
And to everything else that wants to make me believe otherwise …. ohhh! F*** IT!

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