Verbosity Cloak

Being sad without any reason, being happy and excited for nothing obvious, and many such baseless emotions often fall short of words when they are to be expressed. Its not easy to express something of which, you don’t know, how it started and what the purpose of it was or is. And being the kind of person who often encounters such a wide array of baseless emotions on a not-so-rare basis, a crouch and escape route is not always open, and at such times I have to take the painful and tiring process of explaining my state.

However over the years I have gradually reduced this pain to levels so low that now I cannot call it painful or tiring, anymore. What do I do? It’s simple – verbosity.

It might sound like a paradoxical escape route – using too many words; when you are feeling short of them – but I find it the best one available. Whenever I am stuck in a social situation in a state of mind which has a confusing presence, and I have to choose to explain my state, even though my collection of vocabulary suddenly looks inadequate for the situation, I get past the dilemma by using lots of words.

When I am verbose I can explain a simple baseless unreasonable and questionable frown with so many words and phrases, that each sentence, each paragraph, has meanings at so many levels and multitude that each person can get whatever meaning he wants to, from it. The best approach is to frame sentences in a pattern that there is one obvious meaning and many parallel and cross meanings that are completely non-synonymous to the obvious one. Why choose to have hidden meanings? Because whenever you are stuck with an obvious meaning that can have wrong interpretations or implications, you can always choose to catch one of the hidden ones, tell them that you have been implying that from the very start, and Voila! you are out of the social swamp. It also gives you a mysterious appeal sometimes – an appeal I enjoy a lot.

Its like a cloak that you can use to wear and escape through certain social situations like the Invisibility Cloak from Harry Potter. Its the ‘Verbosity Cloak’

I have 6 rules to use the Verbosity Cloak to my advantage:

1. Never tell anything to the point. Leave loose ends. Always! leave loose ends.
2. Never show an emotion when you are explaining yourself, so that they can infer whatever emotion they want, from what you said.
3. If you have to pick an emotion, pick smile. That is it. Not the feelings, just the action. A plain simple smile.
4. Confuse them. Use multiple negatives in a single statement.
5. Lots of punctuations. Be slow, do not rush, let them understand each word. It is always better if you don’t have to repeat what you said.
6. Lastly, as much as possible, choose written communication over verbal to explain such states. The lesser they see of you the more they conclude. Also, in a written communication you don’t have to worry about the pace with which you speak, hence making point no. 5 a bit easier to follow.

I think, that will be all; or in more words,
“An end is required, and for an end this looks apt, so making this the last statement, I bid farewell, unsure of the emotion to be incorporated but with the certainty to halt. Adios.”

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