‘Another friend on the way towards a commitment’. Gosh! every time a female friend gets committed I go through the perfect example of what you call as a mixed emotional state. After a life of chosen celibacy (actually a very customized version of celibacy. One that only excludes commitment. Lets call it “commitacy”) every time a lady friend comes to me and talks things which makes me imagine big neon signs on her head with arrows pointing towards her with the caption “Commitment Alert”, I feel both happy and depressed. You know it is one of those phases of life when you are so happy for a friend getting something she wants and likes a lot and at the same time you even feel depressed that you have one less person to flirt with now. For a man, who has chosen the beautiful path of commitacy it is the occasional flirts and casual dates that makes his road more pleasant.
O don’t give me that “That is so Selfish” look. Its not about being selfish. Its the way a person with a solitary life living in a slum neighborhood feels when one of the neighbors knocks up his door and tells that they are leaving to an apartment in a big residential society. The man will smile and will be so glad that they are moving on for something good, but he also feels sad that he is loosing a neighbor. Not that he ever even planned to visit his neighbors, plan trips with them and all that, but even for a solitary person the idea of not even having an option to be social if ever he feels like it, sucks.
Think of the lady who doesn’t want to have a child ever in her life, and think about how she feels when her medical report shows that she cannot ever have a baby.
Now none of the above two options exactly match what I am feeling, because neither is a commitate (adjective form of commitacy) is in a bad position as compared to his committed friends like the solitary slum guy compared to his neighbors, nor does he ever wish to have an option to be committed to his friends like the ‘no-baby lady’ would later wish to have a baby. But the point is, when a friend gets committed, suddenly, I fall under the pit of realization of how eventually everybody is going to go the same way. You don’t realize that when you have friends with whom you can flirt around, go for casual dates and give them gifts occasionally.
So what will my plan of action now? Nothing! I am going to put on my headphones, grab something to eat and play a music which will make me feel good about my newly discovered word “Committacy.”. And about the whole friends getting committed and me constantly being pushed in the “pit of realization” phenomenon; well, there are some events that are best left alone, and some feelings that are best when left uncontrolled.
Feel happy -> Realize something -> Feel depressed -> Let it go -> and stay smiling. Simple!
RANDOM NERVES 