I wish I could pour my heart out,
but I fear,
if like my eyes, will my heart yield nothing.
Will my heart look as dry as my eyes,
Should I just try and stop to surmise.
Will it speak my emotions, or will it just blurt.
Should I not risk and keep it closed, or should I evert.
I fear if I have lost what it takes to pour your heart out.
i fear that I may just be devoid of emotions.
I am left with stories now, lots of them.
But with just words and punctuations
No breaths, no tears, no laughters
A story so inanimate
I will be scared to read it, I am, because,
I may doubt myself after it’s read
I better not pour my heart
Though, stories there are many, that can still be told.
But I doubt if I have a heart that can still be poured
Fuck you heart! No wait, you don’t even have anything to do with it, you just pump blood innocently all the time, totally unaware of what kind of deep shit the brain is in sometimes. Sorry heart, and Fuck you brain! Ya you, up, on my head, fuck you!.
How can you still have idle time when I try to keep you occupied with work and studies all the time. How can you forget how much time we sat together and deduced many sayings, stories and experiences into one simple fact – “An idle mind is love’s workshop”. We had a deal! I keep you occupied with things all the time, you will not venture into the regions governed by complicated logics and ill-logics of love and romance.
I gave you work to keep you busy, studies to keep even your remote idle parts thinking, and creative constructions of many kinds to make sure both of your hemispheres have enough to feed upon. But you have not changed a bit.
When the whole world keeps accusing their heart for their emotional traumas and unwanted complex dilemmas, it is always you. The poor heart takes it all up for you, and you selfish prick, you keep your ways unchanged.
Learn something from Nikola Tesla’s brain. It was so perfect – always engrossed in work and avoided love and relations whole-‘brain’edly. Why cant you be like that, I know I should not be comparing brains like this, but hey if you quit being an asshole and cooperate with me, maybe I will stop all this.
At least let me blame things on the chain of thoughts. You are too obvious. I mean the other day I was eating an ice-cream, and enjoying it peacefully, and you fucking flashed love in my head. I sat there love-struck with absolutely nothing relevant, for a God damn half an hour. How can you even pop up love when all I did the entire day was work and I got up to have a cup of coffee? I mean, you don’t see a “Hot Singles in your area” pop up when you are reading about the ‘French Revolution’ on Wikipedia, do you? That is relevance, you ass. It should not be too hard for you to look up the meaning of that word in your vastly ignorant and bullshitted database.
You have had your chance, to play those hormones of love, and in the end it fucked up you, me and even the poor and remotely involved heart.
Hey, c’mon, we are homies here, closest buddies, literally – closest. Give me a little cooperation man. I mean I don’t want to be completely against love, and I am not, but its just that it doesn’t suit me that well. I have not yet forgot how beautiful it was when I was in love, the peace of mind I had, fights there were, but even the biggest fight, was small, very small in front of what we had and … What the fuck man! Stop it! Seriously!